Inconsolable

My face broke open
Spilling out its water
Like a toddler experiencing the terrible two’s
Inconsolable
Grief stricken torrential lament
Exasperated I gasp
My sinus draining
My eyes should have wizened
With dehydration
What makes that piercing wail?
Screech in torment
I gasp and wait
My ears ringing at my own cries.



** Written a few years ago when I’d had just one too many loved ones die and life was just a bit too overwhelming and so instead of loosing it all together I wrote about.

Alone with Chardonnay

Tangy liquid on my lips
Sweet crazy tang
Sour on my tongue
Sour in my soul
Leaving me twitching with it’s bright taste
Languid lover ready
For another taste
Readying my mind for a more intimate moment
Burying my passionate tongue
Deep in midnights twisted corridor
Biting my skin with this crippling passion
Writing my love for a moment in time
Testimony of a wrenched heart
A heart of moments, softness
Of an eye resting on my shoulder
Tier, tier, tier
Escalating love to a teardrop
A moment poised for evaporation
Lapsing into a moment of forever never
Tear, tear, tear
Emoting through a moment of…



**another poem I wrote years ago that I found in the same box as the others written on a scrap of paper that I also thought I'd share.

Street Lamp

Seeing light stretched out
Through my eyes
The tears bending the light of
A street lamp
Rippling light six ripples long
I count them to bring reason back
To the flood.
Chevrons in reverse
Pointing skyward.
Light bent by my tears.
Please miss me sometimes
Liquid chevrons wriggling to
Get back to it’s source
Efforts to swim back up stream
Fighting against the current
To regain their fixed and functional point
To only light the street.




**written a few years ago, I ran across this poem written on a scrap of paper and I thought I’d share it. Obviously it’s about regret and loss of someone that, even though you might not be in their life anymore, you just hope that they miss you from time to time.

Forever In My Mind

A curse through a dream
from the lips of yesterday.
To enjoy the humiliation of it
or laugh it off
and simply act like I do.
"Your world is forever in your mind,”
to rewind and replay
like a little torture device
permanently connected at the hip
to rewind and replay
the anguish of the day.
You weren't my first and you weren't my last
but will be a person
forever in my past.
Like prepping a wall
you laid your primer,
a white wash,
subduing my pretenses,
my preconceived notions
covering over
all of my oceans.
A white wash to cover the mess
splattered there from year to year.
Like a great salt plain
you alter my perception.
To trust my eyes
to know how far it was
from here to there
was more than I could bear.
A year or two of stumbles and falls
three or four
why is there so much more?
Trapping me in my box
because my world will forever be in my mind.

untitled

I’ll step inside
and squirm around
to fill up your cup
emptying mine
to fill you with love
and adoration
that I’ve only ever had
for you.
My love is smooth and strong
and all for you.
Times without you
are crippling to every thought.
Your bravado and tenor
are what dreams are made of
that makes my pen leak onto the page
it’s happy distractions.
A slow beating to rapid contractions,
my heart’s love beating in rhythm with yours.

adequacy

I am adequate
In a time that means something to me
I am adequate.
I’m necessary to me
In a time that means something to me
I rally, I rival, I am for me
I am adequate for an adequate time
I create adequacy
In my mundane life I live in shackles
Torn my sinew and muscle
Torn my beliefs
Torn my self
Torn
From now until then with God’s blessing
Will be a blink of an eye
Because I dare to believe in what I need,
In what I hope
Distant to a direction that shames God’s
There-ness for me
How can I hold on to you when I can’t
Feel you holding on to me
I hold my own chest to be my own trickster
Convincing me of time with you.

Writer's BLOCK

Blasted nothing!
Rancid haunting vapor
Eating away at the bones
of my skull
A headache of empty memories far too sincere
Like whiplash in my brain
Thoughts want to move but they sit idle
as though they have been authoritatively deactivated, disempowered.
A trap trapping a trapper